Mind

It’s no secret that I have mental health issues. I’ve discussed them many times on this blog. I suffer from depression and social anxiety. These issues led to me becoming homeless and suicidal. I never sought help for these problems because I never felt that I deserved it. Thanks to this blog and the tremendous support that I’ve received I now feel differently but there are still so many people out there who don’t. 

Mind is a charity that reaches out to people with all kinds of mental health problems and looks to show them that they are not alone. I wish with all my heart that I had reached out to them before my life ever got as bad as it did. If I had then maybe I would not have to routinely cover my wrists whenever I’m out to hide the scars. And maybe I’d have fewer scars on the inside as well.

I never want anyone else to go through what I did so I’ve become a mind member. It costs just £26 per year or just £6 if you are a student or on benefits. For that small amount you can contribute to making everyone affected by mental health issues aware that there are options available to them. If you can’t or just don’t want to join then please share the link below so that others have the option to help. 

It is very unlikely that either you, a family member or a close friend will not be directly affected by mental health issues. Please check out the link below. 

https://www.mind.org.uk/register-with-mind/step-1/

I like to move it, move it

It’s been an age since my last update because I’ve been insanely busy. Black Friday was unbelievably hectic, lots of long hours and hard work but I honestly loved every minute of it. Now I’m looking forward to the big Christmas rush.

Another reason I’ve been busy is that I have been looking for a new place to live. The old place was only ever intended to help get homeless people back on their feet and now that I am it’s best for me to leave place for someone who needs it more. The good news is that when you’re working finding a new place isn’t nearly as difficult as it was when I was homeless and I’m writing this from my new home.

It’s a small studio flat, I have my own little kitchen and I share a bathroom with one other man. I haven’t met him yet as he works days and I work nights but that suits me very well. The place is much quieter than the old one as it’s not on a busy main road so it will be easier to sleep during the day. It’s also very reasonably priced and includes all bills so there should be no problems that can forsee.

On the whole I’m very happy with the move and how everything is going at the moment. On this day last year I spent my 43rd birthday sleeping in the stairwell of a carpark in Fareham, so much has changed since then. Who knows where we’ll all be I’m a years time.

Perspective 

My life is far from perfect. Every day is a struggle, but I have perspective. I can look at my life just one year ago and see that things are so much better for me now. Last year I was homeless, hopeless, helpless and broke. Now I have a roof over my head, a job and even a few friends.

None of this would have been possible without the help of a bunch of kind strangers. Dozens of people that I have never met, and maybe never will, have given me the gift of life. 

I’m not very good at expressing my feelings but I’d love it if the people that have made such an incredible difference could understand just how important they are to me. I don’t have the right words to thank everyone for everything that they have done but please read below. 

If you gave to my campaign…thank you. 

If you shared my campaign… thank you.

If you sent me money or other gifts… thank you. 

If you couldn’t afford to help but still wished me well…thank you. 

If you read my story and it inspired you to help someone else… thank you.

If you did nothing but still cared…thank you.

The difference that you have all made to my life has been remarkable and special and I want to thank everyone that had any part to play in that. 

Amazon worrier

So last night I met a bunch of people that I’m going to be spending an awful lot of my time with for the foreseeable future, they seemed OK. I have a new full time permanent job with Amazon. You’re probably wondering what position they have offered me, managing director? CFO? Not exactly, I’m a night shift parcel sorter in a brand new local distribution depot.

On the whole I’m feeling fairly positive about it but I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t also worried about every aspect of my life and scared of the future. Working a night shift is going to be challenging considering that I live in a shared house right next to a busy main road. Then there is the distance to work, it’s just over 4 miles which I’m going to be walking for the next couple of weeks until I get paid, it adds about 3 hours to my working day and is going to get old really fast. Of course the biggest problem is going to be trying desperately to pretend to be a normal person night after night, it’s hard enough doing that for even small amounts of time.

Overcoming all of these things will be tough but hopefully it will also be worth it.

Noodle week

It’s been a while since the last time noodle week came around but it was inevitable. For those of you who have never lived near the breadline or have ever been students, noodle week happens when a bunch of bills come at the same time or you are forced to buy something unexpectedly and you will spend sometime eating mostly instant noodles. 

I rather enjoy the occasional bowl of noodles but they can get very dull if it’s your main source of sustenance for any extended period. If you ever find yourself in this situation I’d recommend adding an egg to the cooking process to make it feel more substantial as a meal. You could also pick up some very cheap cup a soup and add them together for a chicken noodle soup that costs pennies. 

On the upside, I’m going to assume that the antidepressants are starting to kick in as I’m not nearly as depressed about the prospect of copious noodle consumption as I should be.

Dinner and a movie with ⬆

I haven’t updated for a long while, mostly because I’ve been feeling very down. I’ve finally gotten round to seeing a doctor and have been prescribed antidepressants so hopefully things will start getting a little better soon.

I’m afraid that Deborahs’ mother passed away just over a week ago. We were unable to get any where near enough to get her over there but I think that she is going to use the funds raised to at least be able to send flowers. She moved into a new place, just before her mother passed away, that is more in keeping with her own health needs bit I’m staying I’m touch. It’s a sad situation but I’m very grateful for all the support that she was shown on here and I’ve made sure to pass on all of the best wishes sent by all of you.

That’s pretty much it for now but I’ll be sure to update again if anything worthy of talking about happens.

P.S. Good news from America, Trump seems to have definitively shown just what a monster he is so unless they are insane then there should be no chance of having him as president. 

Trumped up


I was asked the other day what I thought about Donald Trump and I replied, rather sarcastically, that I don’t. Truthfully I don’t like to think about Trump, his popularity says something about society that makes me very uncomfortable. 

His concentration on a combination of hate filled rhetoric combined with seemingly willful ignorance would disturb me if it were coming from someone poor and uneducated. Coming from someone rich and powerful it is terrifying. He has views comparable with those of a racist street thug but he combines them with the power and influence to actually make his hideous visions a reality. 

We have already seen the global damage that ignorant racism can cause with the Brexit here in the UK, I don’t want to consider those same qualities in the hands of the most powerful man in the world. Let’s just hope that reason and sanity win through and he never gets into the Whitehouse. 

By the way, anyone wanting to make a positive impact, please consider sharing the campaign for Deborah (link below).

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/Deborahsmum